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...{ kyle's stupid blog }...
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Sunday March 4, 2007 (02:19pm) Fun with recent news (while watching Lakers vs. Suns on ABC) And the nominees are... Kanye West gets meal delivered from UK to New York for $3900 Two teenagers film themselves forcing two other young boys, ages 2 and 5, to smoke pot El Salvador prisoner caught with grenade stuck up his rectum Tracy McGrady threatens to boycott a future All-Star Basketball game he hasn't even been voted into and the Val Quez "What A Dumbass" Award goes to... Kanye West! This is just unbelievable. But, the saddest thing is that this apparently isn't the first time he's done something like this. If you ask me, there is no meal on the entire planet that's worth almost $4000. Period. Jennifer Aniston could serve me my favorite meal completely naked with a naughty dessert and I still wouldn't pay $3900. Anyone who pays that much money for a meal from another country is most definately deserving of an award. So congrats Kahn-yay. You're offically a Dumbass. and the Val Quez "What A Dumbass" Runner-Up Award goes to... Tracy McGrady! WTF!? How pretentious do you have to be to worry about playing in NEXT YEAR'S All Star game? What a dumbass! If I were T-Mac, I'd worry more about this season and making the playoffs than the security in New Orleans. Besides, don't all NBA stars have bodygaurds and an entourage? Even if he doesn't, I'm sure he can afford it. Bottom line: No amount of crybabbying will make me care any more about your personal security when you make more money by halftime than my whole family makes in whole a year... jackass. And the nominees are... Berlin college forces man with bladder problem to urinate in a cup or fail exam Irritated South African judge throws man in jail because his cellphone rang Jake Plummer would rather retire from football than play for the new team he was traded to Ann Coulter calls presidential candidate John Edwards a "faggot" Michael Jackson charges fans $3500 for 30 seconds of personal face time and the Val Quez "What A Dick!" Award goes to... Michael Jackson! At first glance it might be hard to tell who's the bigger loser: Michael Jackson or the losers who would pay $3500 to speak to him face to face for 30 to 60 seonds. It's easy to see how someone might struggle with that question. But this isn't an award based on someones loser-ishness. It's an award based on their dick-ishness. And during that first glance, it's easy to see that the biggest dick is the guy who has the audacity to assume his time is worth $3500 a minute!. Even the best of the best of the best lawyers time would only hypothetically be worth $3500 an hour, a whopping 60 times longer for the same damn price. What the hell are these people gonna do in 60 seconds? Cry? Faint? Cry then faint? Stammer out the words "Oh my GAWD! You're so amazing! I... I... I..." before crying and fainting? I mean, I can understand the idea that he's a busy man, but I'd expect to get a lot more than a VIP party invite and 60 seonds for $3500. So way to go, Mikey. You're a total dick. and the Val Quez "What A Dick!" Runner-Up Award goes to... Jake Plummer! Only a true dick would rather retire from playing the game he loves and give up what could potentially amount to millions of dollars than play for the Buccaneers because they won't guarantee he'll be an immediate starter. Where's Chris Webber's dad when you need him. Wait a minute... What am I saying? I like the Bucs! Why would I want him to play there? Nevermind Mr. Webber. I'm actually very ok with Jake retiring from football and never having to see his ugly mug or his lame-ass beard again. So fairwell Mr. Plummer. I won't say it's been a pleasure. Later, Kyle
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