"Tom Brady"
Parody of "My Name Is" by Eminem

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... Tom Brady!
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... Tom Brady!

Ahem... excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the media? For one second?

Hi kids! Do you like championships?
Wanna see me throw nine yard spirals past each one of the DB's eyelids?
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Drafted in the 6th Round and not used till Bledsoe goes down?

This play's going great. I'm gonna do a pump fake,
So even if I fumble the ball the rulebook won't seal my fate
And Belichick says, "Tom Brady is amazing!" (Uh-uhhh!)
"So why's your face red? Man, he's embarrassed!"

Well, I wear number 12, and I married Gisele,
To get back at all those teams that didn't draft me in the first round
Got pissed off and when Hernandez went whack,
Smacked him so hard that his clothes look like Orange Is The New Black

I smoke a DB's ass with a TD pass
Faster than the fat linebacker can knock me down on the grass.
C'mere Gronk! (Brady, wait a minute, the play is over dog!)
I don't give a fuck, Bill told me to piss the world off!

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... Tom Brady!
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... Tom Brady!

Richard Sherman wanted to mess with me a couple years ago
Got all up in my face, started screaming "You mad bro?"
I shaved his head with a razor, threw his way with a laser,
Scored a TD and made him read about in the papers

99% of my peers I've exceeded
I just found out I got one more TD than Montana needed
I told Kraft I'd grow up to be a famous passer,
Break records, not do drugs and someday wear a Hall Of Fame jacket

You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
And try to touch your hands like some screaming Namath fans
This guy in Boston asked for my autograph,
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, GO PATS!'

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... Tom Brady!
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... Tom Brady!

Stop the tape! This evidence needs to be locked away!
Video operator, don't just stand there: cooperate!
I'm not ready to leave! Is this really my doom!?
I'll have to win another championship with the guys inside THIS locker room?

Are we passing or are we running? Coach can barely decide
It's 4th and 1 from the goal line - dare me to dive?
All my career I was driven to thrive
I ain't had a losing record in years, my balls are too inflated to hide

When I was caught I got so mad at the damn commish,
How you gonna suspend me Roger Goodell? You ain't got no evidence!
I lay awake every night inside my bed,
With Gisele there as well and watch a little Walking Dead

My life is rad. And by the way, when you see David Tyree's dad?
Tell him his son dropped that pass in this dream I had

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... Tom Brady!
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... Tom Brady!